By popular belief, a soulmate is someone who is relationally perfect for you; someone you share everything with; who is ideally suited to one another as a close friend or romantic partner. Usually people referring to marrying their soulmate, or finding their soulmate, has to do with the fact that there is and was only one person in the world who is right for them — apart from this, no one else will do. Popular culture also displays marriage as a happily ever after conclusion and resolution to your life. Well, it’s either that, or skip marriage all together because if it’s not that, it’s not worth it. While the term “soulmate” a very endearing thought, it couldn’t be more false…

So what should you do when you feel lonely in your marriage? How can you stop feeling lonely in your marriage, and how can you survive? These questions make people wonder whether or not they are in an emotionally abusive relationship, how they can determine whether or not they should stay in their relationship, or how they can fix their broken and lonely marriage.

True intimacy isn’t something that appears out of nowhere in a relationship. It takes intentionality to break down walls we’ve built because of our past, our wounds, how we were raised, and our self-protective methods. As it’s hard enough to break down your own walls you’ve built, it’s a whole other ball game to break down your partner’s. Find out some prompts and questions to help you and your spouse get to know one another better—more intimately.

Marriage needs to have goals to succeed. It’s with these habits and goals that your marriage can go above and beyond your average relationships. When your relationship is healthy, you are healthy. When you are healthy, your marriage is healthy—all the more reason to invest and work at your relationship. Setting goals only takes a few minutes — the result will improve your relationship and build a strong and lasting partnership.

Over the past ten years, my husband and I began to realize that there are positive characteristics to our marriage now, that were never there before; like how we resolve arguments and so on. It’s these elements our marriage has grown into something beautiful. Had we never stuck with it through the ups and downs, we would have never gotten to where we are now — a strong marriage, filled with love and understanding for one another. It’s definitely not perfect, but I have never felt like perfection should be an element to a healthy marriage, anyway.

When I think about men and PMS, I imagine a handful of guys standing around a uterus on the ground as if it’s an alien from outer space, poking at it with a stick and provoking it to attack. No form of communication is attempted — just poking.