Questions and Prompts to Unlock True Intimacy in Your Relationship

Questions to ask your partner to unlock true companionship

True intimacy isn’t something that appears out of nowhere in a relationship. It takes intentionality to break down walls we’ve built because of our past, our wounds, how we were raised, and our self-protective methods.

Breaking down walls and unlocking true potential for intimacy in your marriage

As it’s hard enough to break down your own walls you’ve built, it’s a whole other ball game to break down your partner’s.

Humans were made for intimacy, so when we aren’t experiencing it, it’s possible we draw away from one another—if we let this continue it opens doors for disaster.

While everyone is their own person, men and women usually experience intimacy differently. Women are more emotionally driven, men are more physically driven.

Neither is wrong, just…different. While it’s important to understand how you personally experience intimacy, it’s equally vital we know how our partner experiences it.

Here are some questions that not only unlock true intimacy in your marriage, but will guide you as to how your partner experiences it in a way that speaks to them.

I remember when we were first dating. Christoph, who was my then boyfriend, was a very straight forward person. I was a bit more…complex, I guess you could say.

I was all about getting to know one another, asking the hard questions, while he wasn’t sure why that was necessary. Him being from Germany was another reason for his distance to emotions—Germans are pretty unemotionally and closed off until you get to know them more.

If you’re looking for a creative and fun way to connect with your spouse again? Check out OUR MOMENTS Card Games for Couples to strengthen intimacy and grow deeper. On sale now!!!

One conversation we had went like this.

Me – “Why don’t you tell me you love me every day?”

Christoph – “Because you already know that I love you, why should I repeat it?”

Me – “Because I need to hear it.”

Christoph – “But why?”

The issue wasn’t that he didn’t love me, the issue was how he communicated it to me. His version of intimacy was different than mine. Perhaps it was because his parents expressed their love for one another differently than mine, so that’s what he understood love to be.

My needs of feeling intimately loved were not being met, though, so communicating that was important to me.

He had to compromise in order for our intimacy to grow.

Thankfully, he’s a good man. He now tells me about five times a day that he loves me. It isn’t forced, it isn’t prompted, but it comes from his desire to show me love the way I need.

I’ve felt like it’s taken us ten years to finally get to a place where we are meeting one another’s needs with intimacy. We aren’t perfect and there are always areas of growth, but we are thankful that it’s present and still growing.

Some are hard questions—some are things that might be difficult to talk about. But this is where things get good. Transparency and working through the hard stuff breaks down walls and builds up trust. As you may know, trust is one fo the most important aspects in any relationship.

So is…

Communicating effectively and not destructively

Figuring out what your wife needs

What a man needs

True aspects of a healthy relationship

Fighting the right way

Healthy leadership within a marriage