Mom life isn’t easy. I’m fairly certain the world knows and appreciates that more now than ever. Being a SAHM has its beauty, but let’s not forget how exhausting it can sometime be. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re gasping for air.

tired mom and child

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Finding Beauty in the Chaos of Mom Life

I once walked in on my dog chewing the feet off of a large door mouse that my cat had killed. What’s worse, my son witnessed it at age 4.

He was devastated. I was devastated. It was devastating. Not only because my dog was chewing the feet off this poor creature, but just as I had walked in the room, one of those cute little feet rolled off of his tongue as he wore that face dogs wear when they get caught red-handed. My son screamed. I screamed louder.

That was a mom life moment to remember forever—trying to explain to my son that what he saw was just animal instinct. It was the day my son’s heart became a little more aware of the hardships of life. 

Those moments are okay, though. It’s okay for our kids to become more aware of the darker side of life as they age, including death. 

Unfortunately, teaching our kids how to handle trials in their own journey will be one of our most important jobs as a mother. 

How to be a calm mom

So how do we stay sane amidst the chaos and insanity of mom life? 

As well as having a glass of red and watching your favorite shows while snuggling with your hubby, there are a few things I would suggest when walking through this journey we now call #momlife. 

But I’m not about to give you a bunch of self-help mumbo jumbo that you most likely thought this post was about. 

Nope. 

I’m going to serve you a platter of hope that only comes from God. Being as I’m just a person with an opinion, I don’t claim to have all the answers. But God does! And in His infinite wisdom, a mother who faces chaos in this life can find rest and peace for her soul in the arms of a loving God.

Why? Because He promised it to us. And God ALWAYS keeps His promises.

Here are five things you should do when mom life seems to have lost control, and you find yourself questioning everything while your anxious heart takes over. 

5 Tips for SAHM’s to stay calm and happy

mom and kids laughing

Remember who you are

Nerd alert. 

Do you know that scene in Lord of the Rings when Eowyn—the warrior princess—cuts the head off that foul creature carrying the Nazgul, The Unseen, and then finishes the job by stabbing him in the chest? Yeah, pretty bada$$. 

Anyway, I want to be someone like Eowyn—a courageous woman who goes against what’s “normal” and fights evil with all that’s within her. 

In a way, I am. We all are. 

God has equipped us with everything we need to fight these battles against evil. 

We are warriors for Christ—women who fight for our marriages, our kids, our families, through prayer and standing up for what’s right and good in the eyes of God.

But you know the best part?

God has already won the war. We may have to fight the battles, but we are on the winning side. 

My advice here? Remember who you are in Christ. Your identity in Him is the one thing Satan would love to confuse you about. Why? Because he wants to win those little battles you have throughout the day. 

You know, the ones where you look and the mirror and hate how you look. The ones that cause us you fall into depression. The ones that make you feel inadequate, unlovable, and replaceable. 

Don’t give in. But if you do, know that God is right where you left Him—in patient wait for you to surrender yourself into His loving arms. 

Remember who you are—in Christ. 

You are redeemed.

You are beautiful.

You are brave.

You are loved.

You are important. 

You are the daughter of the most high king. 

You are equipped to win these battles. 

woman reading book

Listen to the whispers and discernment

I’m not talking about creepy whispers that, if you’re hearing them, might require you to get admitted. No, I’m talking about those little nudges we get from God.

Some call them convictions or discernment. I sometimes call them tummy tuggers. 

That’s usually where I physically feel them—in my throat or tummy. 

If you have the gift of discernment, then you might feel them stronger than others. 

I believe that God has equipped many women with the gift of discernment. It also comes with being a mother. It’s a way we protect our little ones from harm. 

But they are also those moments we hear from God when scripture pops out, and the Spirit moves in you. Listen to those. 

They won’t always be there and don’t lose heart when they aren’t. 

It’s important to balance our emotions with tangible scriptural truths. 

But when we are receptive to those whispers from God, then the decisions we make will be more aligned with God’s will and not our own. And when we are more receptive to His will, our perception of our lives won’t be so chaotic and alarming. 

When we can sift our emotions through God’s truth, then they won’t spin out of control. It’s called walking in the Spirit, as opposed to walking in the flesh. Paul talks the most about this incredible truth we have access to, but so often disregard. 

Listen. Obey. Walk in the Spirit. 

woman praying

Talk to God about it

Sometimes the hardest thing to do when you’re struggling in motherhood is to talk to God about it. 

Some of my darkest moments were when I was pregnant with my second son. All of me fought God on the “why” and forgot about the surrender. 

Most of the time, that’s all God wants of us—to surrender and trust. 

Talk to God about your frustrations, your fears, your anxiety, your marriage, your kids. 

“Casting all your anxiety on Him. because He cares for you.” 

1 Peter 5:7

mom and daughter hugging

Seize the day and look for the little things

It’s in the little things we can begin to find hope and joy again amidst the chaos. In our lives, there won’t be a ton of big, incredible things that happen every day. 

There could be, but most likely, it won’t be the case. God promises us many trials and tribulations in our life here on earth. 

But that doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t experience joy throughout it. 

You see, when we can have gratitude and see our lives through that lens, our spirits will align with whatever God has for us next. 

When we can accept that whatever comes our way as God’s plan for our lives, we will experience extraordinary rest in the truth that He’s in control. 

We will wrestle with Him on this MANY times. Our ways and thoughts are not His, so often we will get stuck on the “why” behind it all. 

That’s when we can lift our hands and surrender. 

Remember who’s in control, because it’s not you. 

If you feel stuck, just begin to look for those little things in life you’re grateful for. Have as many positive thoughts as you can, even if it’s noticing that your husband put the toilet paper roll on the holder the right way. 

person in bath

Take care of yourself

Coping skills are a great thing to have when it comes to anxiety and chaos in mom life.

It frustrates me when Christians think that the only thing to do in the face of anxiety is to pray. I DO encourage you to pray, as I did above. But some of us go through seasons where we can’t pray. I know I have.

My heart got so hardened, and every part of me wanted to ignore God because I was mad at Him. 

In these situations, it’s best to tell someone about it. You don’t have to do it alone. 

Have others pray for you when you can’t. 

And then, do what you’re able. Take baby steps and figure out little things that can lift your heart and get through the day. 

Watch a movie that makes you feel good feelings. Call your mom or someone you trust and tell them your struggles. 

Whatever you can do that gives you a little bit of strength to get to the next moment, do it. 

For some, this could be breathing techniques. To others, it could be a bath (not me, I don’t like soaking in my own juices) or a moment alone. 

Take care of yourself. There is no shame in that. 

You can’t be the mom your kids need if you are running on empty. 

But ultimately, at the end of the day, the resilient and neverending truth to ALL of this, is, to surrender to God. He is faithful to see you through, even the darkest of days, and the loneliest of nights. 

When hope seems foolish, be a fool. There is ALWAYS hope in Christ. 

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Hillary Gruener is a wife, mother, writer, and musician. If she's not at her desk writing content on family life, she's adventuring the world with her husband and two boys.

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