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7 Steps to Get Your Parenting Life in Check

Before you know it, parenting life in your home feels less than ideal. Your children aren’t listening; they talk back constantly, they are on screens way more than you like, and you find yourself wanting to escape your children instead of enjoying them. I think every mom has been here. Exhausted, trying every parenting hack you can imagine, you are at a loss as to what will bring peace back into your home.

So where can you go from here?

mom laying on couch

Well, I’m here to tell you. First, take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone. You’re not a failure. Parenting is HARD. And just when you thought you had things under control, a new challenge takes the place of the one you had just overcome.

Next, remind yourself that LIFE is sometimes hard, and that’s okay. Sometimes, when I remind myself that “this too shall pass, and this is not forever,” I can see things more clearly. Accepting that life isn’t always easy is a great way to change your thinking about your home.

I think we humans tend to forget that. So take another deep breath and remember. You don’t have to be perfect, your kids and husband don’t need to be perfect, and there is hope.

A lot of people are struggling right now. Almost every friend I have is going through some kind of crisis in parenting, marriage, health, etc. Sometimes, I ask myself, “What’s going on? Is there something in the air? Why is everyone in such a bad place?”

But then, I have to remind myself. God is still in control, and He is still good. Even though it feels like evil prevails, it’s not something God isn’t aware of. And THAT brings me peace.

Here are a few things you can do to put things into perspective again and make your home a safe haven rather than a hellhole.

mother and daughter smiling

7 Steps to Get Your Parenting Life in Check

Focus on YOUR world

The world is a mess right now. I often have to remind myself that I have no control over what’s happening in the world. I feel overwhelmed and helpless if I read the news or scroll through social media.

Knowing there’s not much I can do about the state of our world, watching these things unfold isn’t something I should fill my head with. That doesn’t mean I stick my head in the sand and pretend everything is okay. It means I try to filter what’s going on through a “God’s got this” perspective and let go of the rest. I ensure I’m caught up with things I need to know and then move on. My husband, who can better handle the weight of the world’s news, fills me in, and I’m good. Sometimes, that means I have to unplug for a little while and not look at my phone.

Children are very aware when you’re not mentally present and will act accordingly to get your attention, most often negatively.

I remind myself of the world I want to create for my children and focus on that. I cannot do much about the world at large, but I can do a lot to guide and nurture my kids with the time I have with them.

mom with kids

Be PRESENT

Kids don’t need you to be perfect, but they do need you to be present. One of the biggest issues in parenting today is kids feeling neglected because their parents constantly check their phones or put their kids on screens. I’m not saying there is never a time and place for screens, but just be cognisant of how often and for how long.

Try this screen detox and see if your child’s behavior adjusts and your home feels more peaceful. A word of warning, if your kids are used to lots of screen time, it may take a few days for you all to adjust. Give it time!

woman working out

Do What Fills YOU Up

As someone who has gotten burned out from trying to run a perfect household and be everything for everybody, I can say firsthand that if you don’t make time for yourself, doing things that fill you up, you can’t be the parent or spouse your family needs. For me, this was a simple adjustment that took a bit of time to figure out.

Instead of doing it all myself, I had to ask for help—from my husband and from my kids. Give your kids responsibilities and chores. Get a babysitter or ask a loved one to watch your kids so you can date your spouse. Have your spouse do bedtime. Share household duties.

Express to them your need to do things for yourself. Sometimes, it’s as simple as communicating your needs to those around you. As someone who likes things done perfectly, I had to humble myself and let go of whether or not things got done right or immediately.

I also had to make time for God. Spending time in prayer and in the Word is essential as you desire to walk in the Spirit. I do frequent walks/runs in nature and just talk to God. He is the only one who understands my every need, and I can’t properly fulfill the needs of those around me if I don’t let God fill me with His truth and strength.

I also started listening to the Abide app whenever I could. You can’t function properly if your nervous system isn’t in tune, resulting from being overrun and overwhelmed. You should bombard the lies being thrown at you that you’re not enough and everything is falling apart with truth from God’s Word.

You could journal or talk to someone regularly who can remind you of the truth.

Your spiritual and emotional health are important and shouldn’t be the last priority.

dad and daughter

Spend at least 20 min with each child doing something THEY love

In the chaos of it all, we sometimes feel as though an accomplished day is getting done all the things we intended to get done around the house or at work. But don’t forget that one of the best ways to help your child listen and obey is to listen to them and spend intentional time with them.

When they feel loved and important, not like your last priority, they will be more pleasant to be around. Even if it’s just 20 min, have your child pick something that they love and do it with them without distraction.

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Start the day off RIGHT

You’ve all slept bad, someone is sick, the house is a mess, the dog pooped on the floor again…

There are a million reasons why days can start off on the wrong foot, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it ruin your day.

When mornings are made more intentional, the rest of the day will likely follow suit. For us, that means eating breakfast TOGETHER, turning on some peaceful/joyful music, playing a game together, or reading a devotional as a family.

Making the start of the day something your kids look forward to can set a great tone for the rest of the day.

boundary

Keep Boundaries Sacred

Here is a post all about setting boundaries. This aspect is important for keeping a peaceful home. It builds trust, teaches your child self-control, and keeps your household from spinning out of control.

Invite laughter and fun in

Life can get mundane. Whether you homeschool or have your kids in school, it will catch up with you if you don’t make time for fun together.

I had a wake-up call when I realized my kids laughed the most while watching something funny. That shouldn’t be the case. I want to create moments for my kids to laugh and smile all throughout the day with me. That meant I needed to stop making everything so mundane and simply invite laughter in again.

Children have this incredible ability to be happy without much effort. As adults, we lose that childlike play and get grumpy about life’s stresses. If we only focus on the things that need to be done, we will lose sight of what our kids really need—laughter with us.

You can do this by joking around with your kids, playing games together, watching a funny movie, and planning fun events as a family. Simply invite laughter and fun into your household. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. One of our fondest memories is when we had Nerf dart wards together—something simple that your kids will remember forever.